You’ve heard the tale of the Owl and Pussycat
Charming stuff, but it wasn’t quite that.
But before you say just a kiddies’ rhyme
Consider how love can come from a crime
You see, Pussycat was a slim young lass,
Promising at college — top of her class.
Her old tutor was called Owl, a perfect tag
For a book-loving lesbian old hag.
Now Pussycat had a real name: Honey;
Good looks and her disposition sunny.
Old Owl really wanted to have her lust
Getting her wrinkly hands on Honey’s bust.
But Honey chose to turn her back on books
Putting her faith instead in her good looks.
She told Owl she had no time for learning
Thus stifling the old hag’s secret yearning.
Honey’s future was as a costume cat
A plan which really angered the old bat!
The lusty teacher had a spinning head
The girl would never get to share Owl’s bed.
Though the hag’s reading plan was in error
Owl plotted to get her way through terror.
She would hire a boat as part of a scheme
To make the young lady just scream and scream
The plan was simple, Owl chose a boat green
(cheap but a vile colour, really obscene)
She learned to drive ‘Peagreen’ swift and fast
Vital skill to make her impression last
The teacher formed a plan, she knew just how
She would kidnap Honey and tie her to the prow.
Scared, a motorboat, cutting through the foam
Would bring a very clear message home
Girl would be glad at landfall out of harm’s
Way to fall grateful into Owl's open arms.
That relief would lead to a grope and kiss
So how could such a plan possibly miss?
’Twas indeed a terror ride and the truth
Is a cat outfit isn’t waterproof.
Soaked and scared Honey was glad it was done
Yet something in her said it was quite fun.
Once free of her gag she dropped to the sand
“Tie me like that I won’t get out of hand.”
Confessed to Owl she was a bondage whore
To her leather-bound books meant something more.
Now the couple, for they’re tied as a pair
Love to feel the sea spray and wind-blown hair
Pussycat bound and Owl steering the boat.
Who said hope of bondage could never float?